http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/"This Heart, It Beats, Beats For Only You"en-UKMokoFeed10http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/76/63eb2edd0668a100bbd42d8c0423ac_160x200.jpghttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/08/09/you-re-a-slave-to-the-system-working-jobs-that-you-hate-6682239/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2009-08-09:/2009/08/09/you-re-a-slave-to-the-system-working-jobs-that-you-hate-6682239/Sun, 09 Aug 2009 01:38:35 +0200 <p>So I've been extremely busy for the past month or so. Not really had much chance to just chill out and write on here...so I thought now is as good a time as any <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><br> Work seems to be hectic. Not really had much of a life since I started, but I guess that in the end the money is worth it <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Nothing much has been happening. Just the same old things. In some respect I want something exciting to happen to shake everything up but the chances of that happening are slim to none. If only <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"><br> On the bright side, at least now I've created some sense of normality for myself...Though I'm not entirely sure that I like it now that I finally have it. The grass isn't always greener as they say <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>My writing seems to have taken a back seat in the past few months too. There doesn't seem to be much inspiration for me at the minute and it's frustrating as hell <img src="/img/smilies/icon_evil.gif" alt=">:-[" class="middle" border="0"> There's this wall blocking my creativity and I'm growing more frustrated that I can't get past it yet. Maybe in time I will...but who knows <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>College...It seems to be looming over everything again. It's not long until I get my results for this year and then start a new year there. I'm not sure that I want that anymore <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"> I seem to just constantly be changing my mind. At the end of the day I don't see it benefitting me so why waste another year <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"> Maybe I'm just scared of being in the real world longer than I 'have to' be <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Hope everyone's been good <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/08/09/you-re-a-slave-to-the-system-working-jobs-that-you-hate-6682239/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>life-general-work-college-updatehttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/08/09/you-re-a-slave-to-the-system-working-jobs-that-you-hate-6682239/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/06/25/a-picture-is-worth-a-thousand-words-6388846/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2009-06-25:/2009/06/25/a-picture-is-worth-a-thousand-words-6388846/Thu, 25 Jun 2009 16:21:41 +0200 <p>So everything's been a bit hectic lately. I've been rushing around finishing things off for college and now I'm just glad to be having a break from it all <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Had another driving lesson today...I'm pretty sure that I'm quite good now <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> My instructor doesn't have to remind me of things anymore because I do it automatically. Hopefully I'll be taking my test in a few weeks...fingers crossed <img src="/img/smilies/graysmilewinkgrin.gif" alt=";D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I've been looking into doing a music course next year. I'm hoping that 6th form will run it so I can do it alongside the second year of my photography course and my business IT course. </p> <p>Speaking of photography...I've been doing a 30secrets30days thing on flickr. Kept it up for 23 days in a row. Quite suprised at that really. Feel free to have a nosey <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><br> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/lotti-emma/">My Flick Page</a></p> <p>Hope everyone's having a good day <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/06/25/a-picture-is-worth-a-thousand-words-6388846/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>drivingflickrcollegephotographyhttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/06/25/a-picture-is-worth-a-thousand-words-6388846/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/27/in-the-back-of-my-mind-i-thought-my-god-6186475/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2009-05-27:/2009/05/27/in-the-back-of-my-mind-i-thought-my-god-6186475/Wed, 27 May 2009 16:15:47 +0200 <p>Today seems to have been a day to re-think a lot of things...The main thing being college.</p> <p>Once again I'm at the point in the year where I need to decide what I want to do next year. Do I go back and put up with college for another year just in hopes of getting another 2 A Levels <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"> Do I try and get a job over the summer <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"> Do I try and send in a late application for Uni <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"> Do I not do any of those things and focus on my music <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"><br> So many choices and each choice has its benefits and downfalls.</p> <p>At this point I'm not sure what would be best for me. I think that having an extra 2 A Levels would be better in the long run but how do I know that music won't work if I don't try <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"> Or could I do both things at once <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I hate having to make decisions. They always seem to creep up on you at the worst times (even though they're really always at the back of your mind) and leave you feeling almost regretful no matter which path you choose to take <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Hope everyone else is having a good day though <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wave.gif" alt=":wave:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/27/in-the-back-of-my-mind-i-thought-my-god-6186475/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/27/in-the-back-of-my-mind-i-thought-my-god-6186475/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/24/sunny-sunday-6170830/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2009-05-24:/2009/05/24/sunny-sunday-6170830/Sun, 24 May 2009 22:15:50 +0200 <p>So today I went to donnington market and Ikea with my brother and his girlfriend <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> Been a lovely day for it! Really hot and sunny...I like <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"><br> I ended up coming home with 100 tealights, tealight holders and a random alarm clock. I didn't need any of those things. Amazing what Ikea can do to a person <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Currently I'm obsessed with Eminem's new album <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> He's such a lyrical genius in my opinion. I love his way with words and how he's so honest in his songs. Hopefully I'll be able to go see him when he tours! <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p>Hope everyone's had a lovely sunday <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/24/sunny-sunday-6170830/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/24/sunny-sunday-6170830/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/22/shop-until-you-drop-6157757/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2009-05-22:/2009/05/22/shop-until-you-drop-6157757/Fri, 22 May 2009 14:21:42 +0200 <p>Hey all <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><br> Just got home. Been shopping with my mum. Whoever said money can't buy happiness was telling porkies because frankly I'm a little bit happier now I've brought clothes <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"> I think I'm becoming a bit of a shopaholic <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p>Once again I'm at a point where I just want to get back into a band again. I love music...it's my passion, it forms my opinions and it's my biggest addiction <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> It's stressful sometimes that I'm just not at the point where I know people who are so passionate about it aswell. Hopefully something will come along soon <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Hope everyone is having a good day so far <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/22/shop-until-you-drop-6157757/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/22/shop-until-you-drop-6157757/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/21/my-photography-6153260/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2009-05-21:/2009/05/21/my-photography-6153260/Thu, 21 May 2009 17:12:25 +0200 <p>So instead of posting some pictures from my birthday (looking back they're too embarrassing!) I thought that I would post some photographs that I have taken <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"><br> Hope that you all enjoy them!</p> <p><a href="http://s113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/?action=view&current=16.jpg"><img src="http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/16.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> <a href="http://s113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/?action=view&current=2.jpg"><img src="http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> <a href="http://s113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/?action=view&current=5.jpg"><img src="http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/5.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a></p> <p><a href="http://s113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/?action=view&current=1-2.jpg"><img src="http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/1-2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> <a href="http://s113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/?action=view&current=PostSecret52.jpg"><img src="http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/PostSecret52.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> <a href="http://s113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/?action=view&current=DSCF0028.jpg"><img src="http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/DSCF0028.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a></p> <p><a href="http://s113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/?action=view&current=pills1.jpg"><img src="http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/pills1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> <a href="http://s113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/?action=view&current=12.jpg"><img src="http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/12.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> <a href="http://s113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/?action=view&current=23.jpg"><img src="http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/23.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/21/my-photography-6153260/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>photography-colour-blackandwhite-photographshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/21/my-photography-6153260/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/21/miss-you-miss-you-6152979/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2009-05-21:/2009/05/21/miss-you-miss-you-6152979/Thu, 21 May 2009 16:10:20 +0200 <p>So I've not been on here for a while...I just checked my last post. It was written 87 days ago. Whoops <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"><br> I don't really tend to think to come on here as much as I used to. I always say that I'll make an effort when I eventually come back, yet I never seem to <img src="/img/smilies/grayshy.gif" alt=":." class="middle" border="0"><br> Hopefully this time is different <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>So a lot has happened! But I'll just stick to the basics for now or else this'll take forever!<br> I turned 18! Finally...never thought I'd see the day <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> Been out a lot since, although I can't really afford it <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"> I might post another blog later with pictures from my birthday and such! <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I'm currently learning how to drive! I love it <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> Just had another driving lesson today actually. Had about 8/9 so far...hopefully I'll be taking me test in no time <img src="/img/smilies/graysmilewinkgrin.gif" alt=";D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I quit one of my colleges...It was making me too miserable and I just thought that life's too short to be unhappy <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> I have enough qualifications already to get me into a decent university on a course I'd be interested in, so I didn't see the point in being miserable when I didn't have to be <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>That's pretty much a basic outline of what's been happening...Yes I know, My life is too exciting <img src="/img/smilies/grayuhoh.gif" alt="U-(" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Hope everyone's been good and having a good year so far! <img src="/img/smilies/graysmilewinkgrin.gif" alt=";D" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/21/miss-you-miss-you-6152979/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>update-general87lifeblogbirthdaydrivingcollegehttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/05/21/miss-you-miss-you-6152979/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/01/17/the-early-hours-of-the-morning-never-felt-so-good-5391866/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2009-01-17:/2009/01/17/the-early-hours-of-the-morning-never-felt-so-good-5391866/Sat, 17 Jan 2009 04:33:14 +0100 <p>Just got in...<br> Last night/this morning was good. I now have lovely smooth skin thanks to Amy <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"><br> Will probably write more about it later but I'm going to try and get some sleep.<br> Night <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/01/17/the-early-hours-of-the-morning-never-felt-so-good-5391866/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/01/17/the-early-hours-of-the-morning-never-felt-so-good-5391866/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/01/11/it-kills-me-to-know-you-get-your-best-sleep-under-hospital-lights-5356822/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2009-01-11:/2009/01/11/it-kills-me-to-know-you-get-your-best-sleep-under-hospital-lights-5356822/Sun, 11 Jan 2009 05:38:52 +0100 <p>So once again I haven't written anything in a while <img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"><br> Christmas was good...got a new electric acoustic guitar which I've been pretty much permanently playing since christmas morning <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"><br> New years eve wasn't so great...my plans fell through and then I spent most of the night drunk, alone and crying. Great way to bring in the New Year <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>So I'm back at college, and hating it as usual <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"> I would quit but it seems too pointless to now so I might as well just stick it out until June/July and get some qualifications. Good thing though is that my 6th form makes us do work experience every year and I've been given a placement at Jessops...and what makes it even better is that it's literally a 2 minute walk from my house <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> I'm actually looking forward to going there because it's something that I'm interested in, so I'm hoping that it will be good.</p> <p>Bad thing about the past few weeks...my insomnia is back. I've been functioning on around an hours sleep a night, or should I say morning, and it's beginning to get ridiculous again <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"> It wouldn't be so bad if I could entertain myself by playing my guitar...but I can't because I have to be quiet for everyone else in the house. It's at times like these I wish I lived alone <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>How is everyone?<br> Hope you are all doing good and hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/01/11/it-kills-me-to-know-you-get-your-best-sleep-under-hospital-lights-5356822/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>lifemusicupdate-generalhttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2009/01/11/it-kills-me-to-know-you-get-your-best-sleep-under-hospital-lights-5356822/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/12/14/you-re-taking-over-me-5218397/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-12-14:/2008/12/14/you-re-taking-over-me-5218397/Sun, 14 Dec 2008 13:04:40 +0100 <p>I've realised that I try too hard to please everyone...Even when they've been a complete arse to me.<br> I think that I'm too nice...Contrary to 'popular' belief.<br> People just seem to take advantage of that 'niceness'. I think I need to just stop trying to please people. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/12/14/you-re-taking-over-me-5218397/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/12/14/you-re-taking-over-me-5218397/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/12/01/i-ll-be-just-fine-pretending-i-m-not-i-m-far-from-lonely-and-it-s-all-that-i-ve-got-5145108/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-12-01:/2008/12/01/i-ll-be-just-fine-pretending-i-m-not-i-m-far-from-lonely-and-it-s-all-that-i-ve-got-5145108/Mon, 01 Dec 2008 16:30:57 +0100 <p>So once again I haven't wrote in a while. Not much of a suprise seeing as my life in general isn't that exciting, so there's not exactly much to write about.<br> But it is about time for an 'update' I guess <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>College isn't going so well. I hate it but then I just think that there is absolutely no point in quitting at this point because there's only really a few months left. I'm going to stick it out and hope I don't come out with the grades that I'm being predicted (which incidently if I do get them, wouldn't have been worth staying there for) <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I quit my band...I guess if you wanted to put it nicely you could say it was due to "creative differences" <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"> I wasn't happy and just didn't see the point in staying in a band that would just ultimately make me miserable. Got to look out for 'number one' sometimes I guess <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"><br> It doesn't mean I'm quitting the whole music thing though. I'm still writing just as much (if not more) and playing guitar. I wouldn't quit music for anything. It's my life...No stupid band 'bust up' will stop that <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I've begun to question a few of my friendships with people. I think that I rushed into a lot of them without actually considering what the people were really like, and now I seem to be stuck with a few people who only want to know me when they want something <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"> I think that lately I've just begun to try and look out for myself a bit more rather than just sit back and be walked all over <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> I haven't quite decided if it's working out yet or not. Only time will tell.</p> <p>As of now I'm going to try and write on here more...I know I've said that before but this time I intend to at least try <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> I miss writing like this...just getting stuff out of my head, So I think it'd be good to start doing it again.</p> <p>Hope everyone's been well <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> xxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/12/01/i-ll-be-just-fine-pretending-i-m-not-i-m-far-from-lonely-and-it-s-all-that-i-ve-got-5145108/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>update-generalhttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/12/01/i-ll-be-just-fine-pretending-i-m-not-i-m-far-from-lonely-and-it-s-all-that-i-ve-got-5145108/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/10/05/i-have-geekshades-4822116/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-10-05:/2008/10/05/i-have-geekshades-4822116/Sun, 05 Oct 2008 02:03:48 +0200 <p>So I never seem to blog a lot anymore. I guess I should really because then I wouldn't have to do a 'catch-up' of what's been going on since I last wrote something <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>College is going ok...Well I keep bunking off of lessons which isn't the best idea but I just need time off sometimes. I think I should get myself sorted and bother to go to all my lessons because I'm only hurting myself in the long run...And that's never a good idea <img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I've been writing a lot more lyrics lately. I think that I've begun to accept my writting style and develope it, when before I'd just hate anything I wrote and not try to improve. I'm actually at a point where musically I feel like I'm improving and creating some really good stuff <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Oh yeah...I got glasses <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> I'd been meaning to get an eye test done for a while and when I eventually did I got told that I have to wear glasses <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> Not sure if they suit me or not yet but the glasses I've picked where the best looking ones...I'm thinking I look like the guy from Weezer <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"><br> What'd you think? <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"><br> <a href="http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/PainOfTheAddicted/?action=view&current=S7300085-1.jpg"><img src="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/PainOfTheAddicted/S7300085-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/10/05/i-have-geekshades-4822116/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/10/05/i-have-geekshades-4822116/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/08/14/i-will-let-you-down-4587370/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-08-14:/2008/08/14/i-will-let-you-down-4587370/Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:45:07 +0200 <p>I'm not in a happy mood <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"><br> I've done completely rubbish in my As Levels <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"> I'm really not happy.<br> I have to go tell my parents soon...I know they're going to be disappointed <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"> I mean last yr in my GCSEs I did quite well and I still got the disappointed stares...And now this yr I have done badly and I know for a fact they're going to be disappointed <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"><br> I'm really angry with myself for not doing better <img src="/img/smilies/icon_cry.gif" alt=":'(" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/08/14/i-will-let-you-down-4587370/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/08/14/i-will-let-you-down-4587370/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/07/25/penny-for-your-thoughts-4497894/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-07-25:/2008/07/25/penny-for-your-thoughts-4497894/Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:01:57 +0200 <p>The mother came home last night...Safe to say I actually missed her <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> Sounds like they had a really good time on holiday. She brought me a Kurt Cobain wallet as a present! I love it <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p>Went Asda today. Is it sad that I'd live there if I could? I love it that much <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Went clothes shopping aswell! Got a new dress/top thing...It's grey and has a black paint splatter type pattern and butterfly things on...It's nicer than it sounds <img src="/img/smilies/icon_razz.gif" alt=":p" class="middle" border="0"> I got a black butterfly necklace to match aswell. And I brought a really nice scraf/wrap thing. It's hot pink fading into purple and has black stars all over it <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Hope everyone's having a good day <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wave.gif" alt=":wave:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/07/25/penny-for-your-thoughts-4497894/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/07/25/penny-for-your-thoughts-4497894/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/07/21/you-said-we-were-an-accident-4478011/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-07-21:/2008/07/21/you-said-we-were-an-accident-4478011/Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:55:24 +0200 <p>In the past week I've somehow gotten 3 injuries...I don't even know for sure how I got two of them <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I've sliced open my hand. I was watering my Mutti's plants in the greenhouse for her and the door wasnt slotted into place properly (It's one of those sliding doors) and it fell...So me being me, decided to try to catch it and stop the glass from smashing <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"> but just as a grabbed the front of the door it hit one of the big stones we have in the garden...And instead of grabbing the metal frame I grabbed a handful of glass <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I think I've somehow broken my toe...And I have a slight feeling that I've done it by sleeping on the settee almost every night for two weeks <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I've somehow injured my other hand because it really hurts when I move it...And I have no idea of how I've done that one <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I seem to be a walking accident at the moment <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/07/21/you-said-we-were-an-accident-4478011/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/07/21/you-said-we-were-an-accident-4478011/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/07/14/may-i-say-i-loved-you-more-4444316/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-07-14:/2008/07/14/may-i-say-i-loved-you-more-4444316/Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:03:16 +0200 <p>So once again I haven't posted for a while so I thought I'd just do a little update <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I think that I've finally sorted out my college courses for next year...But if I do the courses that I want it means going to three different colleges, which is a bit of hassle...But it'll be worth it <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> I'm planning on doing Photography, Business studies/ict and Media studies. Think that's a good mix <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>My job hunting hasn't been going very well <img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0">...Nowhere seems to want to hire me which is extremely frustrating. I want to earn some money because I'm always skint and that's never fun <img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I've dyed my hair again...It's now dark brown and I've cut it myself...I now have a fringe and it's a bit shorter <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>That's about it...Oh yeah, the person I'm completely in love with is in love with one of my closest friends...Typical really <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Hope you're all good <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wave.gif" alt=":wave:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/07/14/may-i-say-i-loved-you-more-4444316/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/07/14/may-i-say-i-loved-you-more-4444316/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/06/11/always-look-on-the-bright-side-of-life-4303338/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-06-11:/2008/06/11/always-look-on-the-bright-side-of-life-4303338/Wed, 11 Jun 2008 20:25:15 +0200 <p>I haven't blogged in a while so I thought I'd post an update of what's been going on <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Well as of Monday night I have a new positive outlook on life <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> Something just clicked in my head and I realised that I don't want to come to the end of my life and realise that I haven't done any of the things that I want to do. I want to live and there's no time like the present right? <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"><br> Live for the moment...Luckilly my new attitude has lasted for two days already so things look very hopeful <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I finish college on friday and I can't wait <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> Need to sort out what I'm doing next year. I'm going to try and get a full time job over the summer because I think it'd be good to earn some money, and it's my back up plan if I end up not being able to go to college next year.</p> <p>Life's getting better <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"><br> Hope you've all been great <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/06/11/always-look-on-the-bright-side-of-life-4303338/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/06/11/always-look-on-the-bright-side-of-life-4303338/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/25/paint-me-blue-4219921/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-05-25:/2008/05/25/paint-me-blue-4219921/Sun, 25 May 2008 15:39:10 +0200 <p>I'm in a very artsy mood again today <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> Got my art book out and I've been sat here painting and drawing. I love it...It's not very often I get in this mood two days in a row. Makes a nice change <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Hope you're all having a good sunday <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/25/paint-me-blue-4219921/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/25/paint-me-blue-4219921/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/20/baby-we-were-making-straight-a-s-4199948/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-05-20:/2008/05/20/baby-we-were-making-straight-a-s-4199948/Tue, 20 May 2008 21:18:43 +0200 <p>I have both of my literature exams tomorrow morning. I'm dreading it <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> I know that I'm capable of doing it but the thing with me is I never seem to get everything I want to say into the essay within the time <img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"> I don't write quick enough and I'm just a bit stressy that I won't get all the key points in.<br> There's a lot to remember and I'm just worried I'll forget something really obvious and lose marks for it.<br> I hate exams...especially for subjects I hate <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/20/baby-we-were-making-straight-a-s-4199948/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/20/baby-we-were-making-straight-a-s-4199948/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/15/who-wants-to-be-a-millionaire-4178949/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-05-15:/2008/05/15/who-wants-to-be-a-millionaire-4178949/Thu, 15 May 2008 20:31:20 +0200 <p>So far this week hasn't been that great. It's just all of the crappy things building up inside my head and one day soon I know I'm going to explode <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I'm going out on saturday with some friends for a meal (It was one of my friends birthdays this week so it's sort of a birthday thing), but once again I have no money...but I feel like I have to go because I know she'll be pissed off if I don't <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"> Don't get me wrong, I really do want to go because it sounds good but I haven't got the money to go. My friends just don't seem to get the fact that I don't always have money like they do, and on the rare occasions that I do have money I don't really want to spend it because I want to save it so that it's not wasted <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> The thing about certain friends is they seem to make me feel so guilty if I don't have the money to do something and it really does piss me off <img src="/img/smilies/graymad.gif" alt=">:-(" class="middle" border="0"> Just because their parents give them money left right and centre doesn't mean that everyone elses parents do that. They all get ema aswell....and I don't. So they just assume that I'm going to go scrounge money from my parents just so it'll make them happy....Well I'm tired of doing that <img src="/img/smilies/icon_censored.gif" alt=">:XX" class="middle" border="0"> <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I'm going to go out with them, but if I can't afford to eat and have to sit there then so be it. It'll just be proof that I can't afford everything like they can <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/15/who-wants-to-be-a-millionaire-4178949/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/15/who-wants-to-be-a-millionaire-4178949/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/06/you-make-this-all-go-away-4140707/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-05-06:/2008/05/06/you-make-this-all-go-away-4140707/Tue, 06 May 2008 22:23:16 +0200 <p>I need to vent...as usual <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"><br> I hate how when I feel like shit and say something about it to someone, they just make me feel bad.<br> I told my friend that I just don't know what to do anymore because I know I can't carry on feeling like this without saying something...And do you know what she said <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0">....to sum it up it was along the lines of:<br> "That's really made <em><strong><u>ME</u></strong></em> feel better to hear that you're feeling like that. I have enough to deal with at the minute."<br> At the end of the day it shows she cares because she's pretty much <em>'worried'</em> about me...but seriously does she think that's going to help <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"> Pushing me aside and making me feel guilty is only going to make me feel a lot worse about the whole thing <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/06/you-make-this-all-go-away-4140707/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/05/06/you-make-this-all-go-away-4140707/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/29/i-ll-be-just-fine-pretending-i-m-not-4112271/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-04-29:/2008/04/29/i-ll-be-just-fine-pretending-i-m-not-4112271/Tue, 29 Apr 2008 23:18:12 +0200 <p>Today wasn't so good <img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"> I don't know how to explain it...It's like I wasn't me but I was watching me (If you understand what I mean by that). It's confusing <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"> It's like someone else was controlling my feelings and I could only watch as everything was happening.</p> <p>All day people kept talking to me as if I was stupid. That really did bother me <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"> It's like they're all in this little group together and they purposely talk down to me because I'm on the outside and I'm just looking in on them like some sort of freak. That really does not help my little 'problem' with paranoia <img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I came home and locked myself in my room again. I sat against the door just crying...I just don't want to be around people right now <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"> It's like if I'm around people then I'll have to put on this facade, all the while feeling so utterly paranoid and shit about myself <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"> I hate this. I hate the fact that I'm still locked in my room on my own worrying about what everyone thinks of me. Why should I care <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"> I shouldn't! I know I shouldn't....and yet I still do. What's wrong with me <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/29/i-ll-be-just-fine-pretending-i-m-not-4112271/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/29/i-ll-be-just-fine-pretending-i-m-not-4112271/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/28/get-outta-my-head-4107704/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-04-28:/2008/04/28/get-outta-my-head-4107704/Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:48:27 +0200 <p>I hate myself for feeling like this <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"> I can't help it...I know I can't because I try so hard to be a happy, hyper person yet it just doesn't work. The thing is I'm not sure why I'm not happy <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"> Nothing's completely terrible for me. So why is it I'm sitting here feeling so down, wanting to just give up <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"> I honeslty don't know anymore. I'm tired of these mood swings, they make me irritable and I never know how I'm going to feel. It's too confusing for me. I wish I could somehow take this stupid self-pitying feeling away because it's driving me so crazy that I will end up doing something stupid <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>There's nothing specific that's making me feel like this...It's like I have all the space in the world yet I still need room to breathe <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"> I just feel trapped inside my head and I can't quite claw my way out of these depressing thoughts. I want to get out...I really do. I need to...before it goes too far <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/28/get-outta-my-head-4107704/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/28/get-outta-my-head-4107704/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/26/get-it-get-it-get-it-you-just-don-t-get--4098405/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-04-26:/2008/04/26/get-it-get-it-get-it-you-just-don-t-get--4098405/Sat, 26 Apr 2008 18:08:01 +0200 <p>Last night was amazing <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> MSI played such a great set. Met them all afterwards which made my year to be honest <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> They signed my ticket and took photos with me (none of which turned out any good but oh well). Got hugs from Kitty and Steve. Let me tell you....Steve's hugs are amazing <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> He was so sweaty it was great <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Dyed my hair before the gig. I quite like it <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> What do you think?<br> <a href="http://s113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/?action=view&current=rawr-1.jpg"><img src="http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/rawr-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br> <a href="http://s113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/?action=view&current=Photo-0247-1.jpg"><img src="http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n232/charlie-banjo/Photo-0247-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/26/get-it-get-it-get-it-you-just-don-t-get--4098405/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/26/get-it-get-it-get-it-you-just-don-t-get--4098405/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/24/i-sold-my-soul-to-get-here-how-about-you-4090803/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-04-24:/2008/04/24/i-sold-my-soul-to-get-here-how-about-you-4090803/Thu, 24 Apr 2008 21:44:19 +0200 <p>Went to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall today. I thought it was really funny...and the fact that Russell Brand was in it just made it all the more amazing <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Brought some magenta hair dye...going to dye it tomorrow before I go to see Mindless Self Indulgence. Good day today <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> The only drawback is the pile of science coursework I've got to finish for tomorrow. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/24/i-sold-my-soul-to-get-here-how-about-you-4090803/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/24/i-sold-my-soul-to-get-here-how-about-you-4090803/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/16/apologies-are-never-good-enough-4053024/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-04-16:/2008/04/16/apologies-are-never-good-enough-4053024/Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:14:53 +0200 <p>I'm sorry that I'm never there for you<br> I'm sorry that I get so paranoid<br> I'm sorry for constantly having this guilty feeling<br> I'm sorry that I'm never going to be good enough<br> I'm sorry that I have no will power<br> I'm sorry for never taking your advice<br> I'm sorry that my best isn't good enough<br> I'm sorry that you have to put up with me<br> I'm sorry that I can't say this to your face<br> I'm sorry for always being so selfish<br> I'm sorry for never telling you I'm sorry<br> I'm sorry that I wish I was better just to make you happy<br> I'm sorry that I can never find the words to say how I feel<br> I'm sorry that I can't take back the things I've done that have hurt you<br> I'm sorry for always feeling sorry for myself<br> <img src="/img/smilies/graycry.gif" alt=":`(" class="middle" border="0"> <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/16/apologies-are-never-good-enough-4053024/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/16/apologies-are-never-good-enough-4053024/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/15/pull-the-trigger-and-the-nightmare-stops-4048710/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-04-15:/2008/04/15/pull-the-trigger-and-the-nightmare-stops-4048710/Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:36:42 +0200 <p>Writers block again <img src="/img/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" class="middle" border="0"> I have a few ideas for songs and I need to get stuff out of my head and into lyrics but whenever I try it just comes out as mindless sentences. I haven't wrote anything in a while so I've got that craving to just get something written down but I know I can't force it, which sucks <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Had an ok day today. Still got the feeling that people have begun to ignore me though <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> Guess you could say I'm a little paranoid...I just find it hard to trust that anybody actually would bother with me. Stupid I know...I should really just stop feeling sorry for myself because it's getting old now <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/15/pull-the-trigger-and-the-nightmare-stops-4048710/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/15/pull-the-trigger-and-the-nightmare-stops-4048710/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/13/music-thing-4040222/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-04-13:/2008/04/13/music-thing-4040222/Sun, 13 Apr 2008 22:13:17 +0200 <p>Directions:<br> 1.) Put your music player on shuffle.<br> 2.) Press forward for each question.<br> 3.) Use the song title as the answer to the question.<br> 4.) NO CHEATING! Or you're no fun.</p> <p>01) How am I feeling today?<br> on my own -the used</p> <p>02) Where will I get married?<br> see you in hell -aiden</p> <p>03) What is my best friend's theme song?<br> mope -bloodhound gang</p> <p>04) What is/was highschool like?<br> i'll pay you to shoot him -megan mccauley</p> <p>05) What is the best thing about me?<br> trendy -reel big fish</p> <p>06) How is today going to be?<br> do unto others -mindless self indulgence</p> <p>07) What is your current mood?<br> greener with the scenery -the used</p> <p>08) Describe my parents?<br> pressure -paramore</p> <p>09) How is my life going?<br> truth of my youth -new found glory</p> <p>10) What song will they play at my funeral?<br> a box full of sharp objects -the used</p> <p>11) How does the world seem to me?<br> the missing frame -afi</p> <p>12) What do my friends really think of me?<br> we are broken -paramore</p> <p>13) Do people secretly like me?<br> son of lies -aiden</p> <p>14) How can I make myself happy?<br> like shit -mindless self indulgence</p> <p>15) What should I do with my life?<br> a favor house atlantic -coheed and cambria</p> <p>16) What am i really?<br> call it in the air -jimmy eat world</p> <p>17) What is some good advice?<br> deep inside -korn</p> <p>18) What is life about?<br> you'll get wrapped -lethal bizzle</p> <p>19) Am i in love?<br> the way it is -the prodigy</p> <p>20) What type of men/women do you like?:<br> sleep -my chemical romance</p> <p>21)Will you get married?<br> misery business -paramore</p> <p>22) What should I do with my love life?<br> dont go away mad (just go away) -motley crue</p> <p>23) Where will you live?<br> stronger -kanye west</p> <p>24) Words to live by?<br> i am hated -slipknot</p> <p>25) How will my love life be?<br> sore loser -the 69 eyes</p> <p>26) How will life be in 10 years?<br> when the sun sleeps -underoath</p> <p>27) What was my childhood like?<br> i don't like the drugs (but the drugs like me) -marilyn manson</p> <p>28)How well did I do in school?<br> your only friends are make believe -bloodhound gang</p> <p>29) How do I feel about my best friend?<br> left behind -slipknot</p> <p>30)What do I think about love?<br> hospital -the used </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/13/music-thing-4040222/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/13/music-thing-4040222/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/12/i-m-on-the-outside-4032381/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-04-12:/2008/04/12/i-m-on-the-outside-4032381/Sat, 12 Apr 2008 01:08:16 +0200 <p><strong><em><u>But I'm on the outside<br> And I'm looking in<br> I can see through you<br> See your true colors<br> 'Cause inside you're ugly<br> You're ugly like me<br> I can see through you<br> See to the real you</u></em></strong></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/12/i-m-on-the-outside-4032381/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/12/i-m-on-the-outside-4032381/#commentshttp://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/10/i-hurt-myself-today-to-see-if-i-still-fe-4027458/tag:bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk,2008-04-10:/2008/04/10/i-hurt-myself-today-to-see-if-i-still-fe-4027458/Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:50:49 +0200 <p>I think that I need to go to a doctor or something <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"> It's not normal to get this angry over stupid little things. She only spoke to me and it got me stressed...Actually made me feel like clawing at my skin to relieve the anger <img src="/img/smilies/grayupset.gif" alt=":##" class="middle" border="0"> I don't know what the heck is wrong with me <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"> ....</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/10/i-hurt-myself-today-to-see-if-i-still-fe-4027458/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://bulletproofblog.blog.co.uk/2008/04/10/i-hurt-myself-today-to-see-if-i-still-fe-4027458/#comments