Thoughts Of An Insomniac

I'm in a very artsy mood again today Got my art book out and I've been sat here painting and drawing. I love it...It's not very often I get in this mood two days in a row. Makes a nice change

Hope you're all having a good sunday

I have both of my literature exams tomorrow morning. I'm dreading it I know that I'm capable of doing it but the thing with me is I never seem to get everything I want to say into the essay within the time I don't write quick enough and I'm just a bit stressy that I won't get all the key points in.
There's a lot to remember and I'm just worried I'll forget something really obvious and lose marks for it.
I hate exams...especially for subjects I hate

So far this week hasn't been that great. It's just all of the crappy things building up inside my head and one day soon I know I'm going to explode

I'm going out on saturday with some friends for a meal (It was one of my friends birthdays this week so it's sort of a birthday thing), but once again I have no money...but I feel like I have to go because I know she'll be pissed off if I don't Don't get me wrong, I really do want to go because it sounds good but I haven't got the money to go. My friends just don't seem to get the fact that I don't always have money like they do, and on the rare occasions that I do have money I don't really want to spend it because I want to save it so that it's not wasted The thing about certain friends is they seem to make me feel so guilty if I don't have the money to do something and it really does piss me off Just because their parents give them money left right and centre doesn't mean that everyone elses parents do that. They all get ema aswell....and I don't. So they just assume that I'm going to go scrounge money from my parents just so it'll make them happy....Well I'm tired of doing that

I'm going to go out with them, but if I can't afford to eat and have to sit there then so be it. It'll just be proof that I can't afford everything like they can

I need to vent...as usual
I hate how when I feel like shit and say something about it to someone, they just make me feel bad.
I told my friend that I just don't know what to do anymore because I know I can't carry on feeling like this without saying something...And do you know what she said ....to sum it up it was along the lines of:
"That's really made ME feel better to hear that you're feeling like that. I have enough to deal with at the minute."
At the end of the day it shows she cares because she's pretty much 'worried' about me...but seriously does she think that's going to help Pushing me aside and making me feel guilty is only going to make me feel a lot worse about the whole thing