Thoughts Of An Insomniac

How Do You Feel:

about love: close yet far -cky
about the government: note to self -fftl
about racisim: contagious -a static lullaby
about food: in joy and sorrow -him
about depression: prove my hypothesis -death cab for cutie
about music: toxicity -system of a down
about boys: world by storm -aiden
about girls: strings -blink 182
about life: play crack the sky -brand new
about trends: under the bridge -r.h.c.p
about sex: sound effects and overdramatic -the used

How Was:

your day today: a-ok -motion city soundtrack
your morning: solitude -evanescence
your night: forgive me -evanescence
last night: pretending -him
you day last week: silhouette -thrice
your day last month: through glass -stone sour
your last birthday: umbrella -dir en grey
your last holiday?: born with nothing, die with everything -papa roach

What do you Think:

when you wake up in the morning: some sense of security -saosin
before you go to bed at night: immortal -the rasmus
in the shower: if i dont wake up -suicidal tendencies
on the toilet: blacklight -the misfits
while eating food: rejection's cold -unwritten law
at work or school: thrown away -papa roach
while driving: chapter 13 -+44
when with your loved ones: alive -the 69 eyes
when critisized: dirty moose -the rasmus
when complimented: buried alive by love -him
when you're having sex: call me animal -the 69 eyes
when you're cuddling: this too shall pass -kittie
when you cry: dance with the devil -breaking benjamin
about this survey: shell of myself -mest

Copy these questions, post your answers in your blog and tag five more people.

1. When in doubt... listen to music to distract yourself

2. The most Tagalicious blogger is... all of the bloggers are tagalicious

3. Given half a chance, I would... move to america

4. I'd rather be... sleeping

5. Who knew that... i'd completely fuck it up

My friends got me and her tickets to see the misfits
As chuffed as I am about it I feel well bad because I already owe her some money and now I've got my ticket to pay for aswell I know it's going to take me ages to pay her back.
The thing is she got the tickets as a suprise so I feel worse

She's said she doesnt mind how long it takes for me to pay her back but I really feel bad about not being able to pay her back right away I'm skint...not even 1p to my name and I know it's going to take me forever to pay her back

I hate it when people try to guilt trip me into doing things I don't want to do
I've had three people I know try and persuade me to go to the prom when I've made up my mind that I'm not going. They keep presuring me to go and I'm fed up of it. I just want them to back off and realise that I really don't want to go
They just make me feel guilty with the stuff they say but this time I refuse to give in to them. They do it all the time to get their own way and it really pisses me off. Can't they just get the fucking message

I have nothing planned for the rest of the week. To be honest I'm getting a little bored Never knew that not being at the shithole would be so boring, but I don't miss it though. Not at all. I'd rather be bored than be sat in that hell

I just got off of the phone with the head of year 11 at my school (old school now ) and apparently I have a free prom ticket there waiting to be picked up. I've told her I'll come and collect the ticket tomorrow, but the thing is I'm not even sure if I want to go to the Prom or not

I don't think any of my friends are going and I don't want to be stuck there with people who I hate (and who hate me). Not exactly my idea of a fun night

Apparently you have to wear a dress. I hate wearing dresses. I look like a complete idiot when I wear a dress I don't want to be made to wear a dress. I'd rather wear jeans, but apparently if I go in jeans I won't be let in

So I don't know whether I should go or not. At the minute I don't think I will

Well I finally got my tattoo done
I'm really pleased with it. It didn't even hurt me that much, and to think I was really scared about it yesterday

I don't know what creams and stuff I can put on it
Can anyone suggest any?

Well I've agreed to getting a tattoo tomorrow As much as I want it done I am completely petrified of needles. I don't mind the pain it's just the needle
I'm such a wuss, I'm gonna have to suck it up and get it done because I know after I'll be so glad I've done it and gotten the bloody thing seeing as I've been waiting since before Christmas for the guy to come down and do it for me

On another note, Mutti brought me some new boots today. I originally went in the shop to get some Dr.Martins but I came out with some new rocks (with a heel....I can't really walk in heels considering I've not wore them in a few years) But they're lovely

I've officially left the hell I've been stuck in for the past 5 years!
It's fucking great already and I've only been finished with it all for a few hours
No more Gina telling me what to do anymore and no more Maddox constantly threatening to throw me out of school for piercings
I'm free! FINALLY!
Thank fuck for that

...To this song for some reason
It's like I just understand what Corey's singing about.

Had a bust up with Vati this morning
I ended up leaving and going to Tash's house. I wasn't even dressed. Still in my pj's.
She was kind enough to listen to me and she looked after me whilst I had my little 'breakdown'
I feel bad for always going to her and dumping my problems on her It's really not fair.
I bet she gets fed up with me all the time, but she's too nice to say anything

Me and Tashbash went to Download for the day yesterday
It was amazing to say the least
Such a good fucking line-up. It's a pity I couldnt afford a weekend ticket but next year we plan on going for the whole weekend and camping so that should be great

Basically these are the bands we saw:
Zico Chain- These guys were amazing. So stoked to have seen them
Ill Nino- Even though we were in the middle of the crowd it was such a great atmosphere They were fucking awesome.
Turbonegro- Mainly who I went for. Didn't disappoint. Sung a few songs from their new album which were kick-ass
Megadeath- Fucking amazing! We weren't going to go see them but we decided to and I'm so glad we did because they played a great set
Saosin- Missed a few songs because we were watching Megadeath, but heard my 3 favourite songs by them so I was happy
Porcupine Tree- Never heard of them before but they were great. We had some dude infront of us who was drunk and knew the words so he was singing to us
Paramore- Got crushed during their set Was brilliant.
Enter Shikari- Had to go stand to the side of the stage because it was too crowded and some dude elbowed me in the ribs and I couldn't breathe They were fucking amazing. Loved the drummer's raving.
Korn- Only stayed for about 3 songs but they were fucking great More crowded than Enter Shikari.
My Chemical Romance- Highlight of the day (apart from seeing Turbonegro). Fucking awesome set

Deffinatly going next year

I still haven't wrote any more songs for the band I can't find anything that inspires me. I really want to write something but I just can't Everything I've written over the past couple of days sounds really rubbish.

I know I should just relax and wait for inspiration to hit me, but it's actually stressing me out I love writting and not being able to write properly is really doing my head in. I just can't seem to find the words to put into a song
I know pretty much what I want to write my songs about but I can't seem to get the lyrics down. It's never normally this hard to write, I just don't know what's wrong with me lately

I feel so lazy today
I watered Mutti's plants this morning and then I cleaned the kitchen, considering my 3am craving for milkshake made an absolute mess It was a damn nice milkshake though

I should really begin revising for my maths exam on monday...but I don't want to I'm going to fail anyway, whether I revise or not. So I think I'll just accept that fact and just try my best in the exam because when I revise nothing stays in my head. I just don't see the point in forcing myself to revise when two hours later I can't actually remember any of it.
Ahhhh....exams. What joy

Well I've survived a day alone in the house Not bad going considering I thought I might of burnt it down or something by now. 6 more days of freedom left until Mutti returns