Why is it that people you love and feel comfortable with are the hardest people to tell things to :??:

I want to tell tash stuff but when I try to it doesn't come out or I just completely breakdown and look like a looney. I don't know what it is :??: I trust tash and know that she'll be there for me no matter what but I just can't tell her :**:

I feel like no one's there to talk to. I just feel like everyone's analysing every aspect of my life and judging me because I'm not good enough.