Thoughts Of An Insomniac

I myself don’t see the appeal of shopping. Well apart from the fact that you can buy almost anything you want. Our town is well, to put it nicely, a complete dump. It's over crowded, littered and unbearably dull. It's not the ideal place to spend half of your weekend. To make matters 'worse' the council, I think it was them anyway, have begun building work for the 'new and improved shopping centre' which will probably be finished by around 2012, maybe longer, depending if anyone cares enough to do any work. This leaves the town with less shops and a lot more noise.

But I suppose a good point of this 'shopping centre' being built is that the clock tower and most of it's surroundings have been seized by builders bearing cheap wooden boards. This leaves town with less 'bitchy scene kids' staring down their noses at you as you walk by, as if you are nothing but a piece of trash. Whenever I go into town, I always seem to be greeted by those stares. It makes you feel so good about yourself. Hint the sarcasm dripping from those last words.
They are one of the many reasons why wasting time in town does not appeal to me.

Bus fares to town! A rip off if you ask me. Why would I waste over £1 on a bus ticket into the town centre when I have perfectly good legs that can take me anywhere I want to go? The bus journeys are a nightmare as well. It's not even worth the money to be squashed up against a complete stranger for 10 minutes, and then to have to manoeuvre yourself between people to escape the confines of the metal cell on wheels.

Not sleeping can do strange things to a person. It can make you think about things that you'd never normally think about. Well it does that to me anyway. I'm not sure about anyone else as I have never really asked anyone to be honest. But anyway, as I was saying before I so rudely interupted myself. I have noticed that in the many nights of sleep deprivation, I have found myself pondering over many of my unanswered questions.

The most recent is in fact, What would life be like for me now if I had not made some of the stupid choices I have done?
I began my night thinking of things I've done in the past, and I suppose that's what made me think of it. All of the stupid mistakes I have made keep seeping into my mind, thus causing me to think of how I've screwed things up for myself. Don't get me wrong, some of my mistakes have caused me to find out who my true friends are, which is a good thing. But I can't help but think that if maybe I thought things through more before I did them, then I wouldn't of ended friendships and lost people's trust.

I am grateful for a few of my mistakes. When I mess up and then apollogise and tell people why I did what I did, it seems that only my true friends will forgive me whereas others seem to just take it as an excuse to end the 'friendship'. As horrible as this may sound, I am glad I no longer have one of my best friends. We 'fell out' over the stupidest thing and it showed me just how pathetic I was to believe that this person truely cared about me. Snide comments were made by the both of us and after what seemed like endless arguing we both agreed there was no friendship left to be saved.

So who am I? To put it simply, I am me. A hyperactive, insomniac who is some what paranoid. Not exactly an appealing description but it will have to do for now.