Two blogs in the same day. A new record for me. But I shall have to celebrate later on. Now back to the blog.
Not sleeping can do strange things to a person. It can make you think about things that you'd never normally think about. Well it does that to me anyway. I'm not sure about anyone else as I have never really asked anyone to be honest. But anyway, as I was saying before I so rudely interupted myself. I have noticed that in the many nights of sleep deprivation, I have found myself pondering over many of my unanswered questions.
The most recent is in fact, What would life be like for me now if I had not made some of the stupid choices I have done?
I began my night thinking of things I've done in the past, and I suppose that's what made me think of it. All of the stupid mistakes I have made keep seeping into my mind, thus causing me to think of how I've screwed things up for myself. Don't get me wrong, some of my mistakes have caused me to find out who my true friends are, which is a good thing. But I can't help but think that if maybe I thought things through more before I did them, then I wouldn't of ended friendships and lost people's trust.
I am grateful for a few of my mistakes. When I mess up and then apollogise and tell people why I did what I did, it seems that only my true friends will forgive me whereas others seem to just take it as an excuse to end the 'friendship'. As horrible as this may sound, I am glad I no longer have one of my best friends. We 'fell out' over the stupidest thing and it showed me just how pathetic I was to believe that this person truely cared about me. Snide comments were made by the both of us and after what seemed like endless arguing we both agreed there was no friendship left to be saved.
Don't you think it's strange how one little question can make you evaluate your decisions?
09/03/07 @ 13:52